Stop! Now! We mothers of Israeli soldiers demand an end to the futile war in Gaza

Israeli mothers and fathers, members of Parents of Combat Soldiers, calling for a deal to end the Israel-Hamas war, outside the Tel Hashomer army base, near Tel Aviv on 24 May 2024

Noorit Felsenthal Berger writes in Haaretz on 26 May 2024:

It’s an early Sunday morning. I am driving my youngest son, back to his army base in southern Israel. He’s been home for just two days, one of the only breaks he’s had after being in active combat in Gaza for what had at this point been about six months – it’s now been almost eight. As we drive I know he will probably go back into Gaza the following day.

I can’t believe I’m doing this. I struggle not to cry, I hand him another sandwich I packed for the journey. I feel like Abraham after God told him to sacrifice his son Isaac.

All I want is to turn the car around and escape, flee. Instead we chat about the struggle against the “dark forces”, the central theme in the Harry Potter books which we both loved reading when he was young.

Once we get to the base, I take a photo of my boy, for good luck, I tell myself. We hug tightly and I watch as he walks away from me. I start driving home but have to stop on the side of the road as I can no longer see through my tears or push away my harrowing thoughts. It’s unbearable. I wonder if this is what going crazy feels like.

I share these words as a mother and member of a movement of parents of Israeli combat soldiers who have been fighting in Gaza for almost eight months. Our message to our leaders, the decision makers, is simple: “Stop! Enough!” In fact, that is what we have called ourselves: “Parents of Combat Soldiers Shouting Out, ‘Enough!'”

We are demanding that a legitimate political solution be worked out after these long months of war and bloodshed. We believe that a military response was inevitable in the immediate aftermath of the horrific Hamas attack on Israel. But now, with no negotiated, political solution on the horizon, we see we are not getting any closer to freeing the hostages and more and more soldiers are killed and wounded every day. And although it does not make the headlines in Israel, we also know many Palestinian civilians are suffering and dying daily too.

So we watch in agony as the death toll rises, but without any clearly attainable goal to show for it. We understand the war now as a war that continues because of internal Israeli political dynamics of this government. An ongoing war serves the goal of securing the rule of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his right-wing extremist government. Even our minister of defense and other military experts have said that.

We wrote a letter to the Defense Cabinet signed by 900 parents of soldiers in active service in Gaza and more than 2,000 supporters. The letter called the government to take responsibility for the lives of our sons and sons fighting in Gaza, and not sacrifice them in a deathtrap without a legitimate political solution. We still haven’t received a response.

I am the mother of three sons. The eldest is studying in the United States and fighting antisemitism on campus. The two younger sons have fought in Gaza, one in the reserves and the other as part of his mandatory service.

Israeli soldiers stand amid rubble in the northern Gaza Strip in November 2023

My youngest son 21 years old, has been fighting since October 7, starting in the battle for Kibbutz Nahal Oz where he fought against Hamas attackers and after bore witness to the aftermath of the atrocities they committed there. As a member of the kibbutz said, the surviving members owed their lives to my son’s unit.

From there he and his unit were sent to fight in northern Gaza, and then Khan Yunis and now they are fighting in Rafah. My son has lost friends and commanders killed in action.

We are a patriotic family, our sons have been raised on the values of social responsibility, and personal contribution. I don’t have words to express the ongoing terrifying feeling of having a son in combat for so many months.

We live in a continual state of terror and anxiety, without sleep and without, barely even breathing it seems. We fear every knock on the door. During these months my son has been at home for only four short intervals and one longer vacation during Passover, before entering Rafah. We live a constant nightmare.

Joining this movement and meeting other mothers who are going through the same experience, has given me a feeling of support and a way to be proactive, as we work to make a difference, to have some influence.

I am writing these words first and foremost as a mother and a deeply concerned citizen, but also as a psychologist. I have been treating children evacuated from their homes because of the war and children who have lost a parent in the war. I have been immersed in the ongoing trauma and pain they are experiencing. Trauma is a widespread experience of so many Israeli families today.  Trauma leaves us feeling speechless, voiceless, living in an endless day-to-day existence of survival mode, without a sense of future.

My PhD focused on mothers of young children’s daily experiences and ways of expressing voice and identity. The war has challenged the fundamental meaning of motherhood, that of a mother’s obligation to protect her children.

When we saw the war as inevitable when it first began, we did our best as mothers to support our sons and daughters fighting in it. But today we feel as mothers the pointless sacrifice of an endless war. We cannot remain silent, we must give voice to our convictions. The soldiers in Gaza are doing their duty, our obligation as mothers is to give voice to their concerns.

We find our sons shattered by exhaustion, asking questions about the outcome of their commitment and sacrifice as they enter the same places again and again, and see more fellow soldiers losing their lives. We are seriously concerned about their mental health. There has never been such a long and intensive war in this country like this one, and the burden is placed on the shoulders of the same group of combat soldiers.

We as parents, mothers and fathers, cry out to “Stop! Now!” We are telling our leaders they must agree to a deal for the release of the hostages as long as they are alive (we won’t be able to heal on a personal or national level until they are freed) and an end to this war.

As a nation we must create a horizon of hope for our children, for ourselves. Continuing on the current road is not an option. We must stop this path of disaster before it’s too late.

Noorit Felsenthal Berger is a psychologist and the mother of an Israeli combat soldier serving in Gaza. She’s a member of the organization, Parents of Combat Soldiers Shouting out, ‘Enough!‘

This article is reproduced in its entirety